2005-07-19 I found the perfect job!

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

2005-07-18 Busy

I still don't. I just have this thing with having at least one entry here per day (unless I am somewhere like renting a house in Cape Cod that doesn't have internet access).

I kind of have a busy couple of weeks coming up anyway. This week we have Julia's first birthday to get ready for and a couple of appointments and next week we have Julia's 1 year checkup and her first appointment with EI.

And oh yeah, I can't believe I forgot to mention this! Julia did the "army crawl" yesterday (picture trying to scoot under a barbed wire fence or something). It was the first kind of crawling she has done to date! YAY!

2005-07-17 Better

I still plan on appealing and I definitely am thinking about having Julia see Emily's doctor, but I have also been thinking about some other things.

See, in all honesty, it doesn't really matter if Julia (or even Katherine) have TS. It's not curable and is only treated as symptoms present. So, whether or not Julia has it or doesn't, her delays would be addressed by going to Early Intervention. And if Katherine randomly had some issue come up, we would treat that. It would be nice to know, but really, the only beneifit would be just knowing. We couldn't fix it.

I guess I overreacted, or maybe I didn't. I don't know, I think it was more of a buildup type of a thing...and it just added to the list of medically related things that just haven't gone right lately.

I am fine now, just in case you were wondering, and feeling better overall about the direction things are taking.

2005-07-17 Weekend

Yesterday, we spent a lovely day at my parents pool with Jay, Deb and Sadie. It was a nice day and the kids (and adults alike) had fun!

We had a friends party to go to last night, which also involved a pool but I didn't swim...or get thrown in like some people did. I actually had a beer which I haven't done since college. It was ok I guess, but I definitely am not a "beer" person...or a person that even likes to drinnk any type of alcohol often. It's just not my thing which is you know, good. I took pictures and may post some here at some point (Incidently, I brought my camera to my parents house yesterday but I left the picture taking up to Jay, who, once he recovers from his sunburn I am sure will be posting them).

We are going to my parents house again today to visit with them (they just came back from Aruba last night) and have dinner.

I am going to go to bed early tonight, like maybe before 9 even to catch up on some zzz's. I have been staying up late every night lately and I think it's catching up to me.

2005-07-15 Done

It's late but I did it and yes, it made me feel better.

2005-07-15 Focus

It gives me something else to focus on and it also crosses of one of the many things on the never ending to-do list.

Sounds good to me.

2005-07-15 IE Appt

The schedule appears to be every other Wednesday at noon which works fine for me.

I am planning on including her background in my appeal to the insurance company so I am going to ask the IE person to draft a letter, documenting Julia's delay.

Anyway, I am looking forward to getting started. `

2005-07-15 Shhh

I don't really think it's too much to ask for my insurance company to shell out a few thousand dollars to make me feel better, do you?

I have decided to go with a different approach, well kind of anyway. I am considering having Julia seen by Emily's neurologist who just happens to specialize in developmental disabilities, as well as general neurology. My thinking is this...he knows Emily's story and her diagnosis, so if he sees her sister as a patient and agrees that she is developmentally delayed in a couple of areas, he will have her tested for TS. That, the insurance will pay for or so I am told.

I swear to God this is the only thing "wrong" right now. If all of this medical crap would just get the hell out of our lives, life would be good, great in fact.

And no, I don't see anything wrong with eating a package of Oreo's to dull the pain. Yeah yeah yeah, emotional eating. I know.

Shhh.

2005-07-15 FUCK YOU BCBS

I just got a letter in the mail from the insurance company.

Guess what?

The assholes aren't going to pay for Ryun and I to be genetically tested.

Yeah I just said assholes. Deal.

I am going to appeal, not that I expect to win...that and I just found out the next appeal meeting isn't until September 12.

What's another two months when you've been waiting forever already? It's nothing to them.

I decided to call and see how much the testing would be if we were to pay out of pocket.

Are you sitting down?

$1895.00...per person.

That's $3,790.00 total.

They do have another option which is good, but still will cost an arm and a leg. We pay 20% (which would still be $758.00) and they try to bill the insurance company for the difference. No matter what happens with the insurance company, we would only have to pay the 20% but still, $758.00 is a lot of money.

Not that I want either one of us to have it but I would be pissed if we had to pay $758.00 for nothing.

Whatever.

Blue Cross Blue Shield can kiss my ass.

2005-07-15 Panic!

I wasn't even sure that I wanted to share it here but I guess I am going to.

I felt overwhelmed by my children. Honestly, this might not seem like a big deal (I mean I do have three kids, three girls to boot) but it has never happened before. Overwhelmed might not be the word either...I honestly felt like if I had to answer one more question about anything, I might just explode. It felt more like an anxiety/panic attack kind of thing where my heart was racing, my mind was going a million miles a minute and I had butterflies in my stomach.

Nothing out of the ordinary was going on, nothing really anyway. Julia was unsettled and absolutely nothing short of carrying her around seemed to work(eating,sleeping, playing etc). Emily was asking me 50 thousand questions about our plans for the day (Can we go to the park? Can I call Amber? Can we go swimming? etc). Katherine was whining about being thirsty and hungry and asking if she could have a drink. Under normal circumstances, all three kids coming at at once doesn't phase me. I am really the most patient person and can tolerate, well, just about anything.

Today, I felt like I might die. Seriously.

I somehow managed to get Emily and Katherine in to the play room to chill for awhile (using the excuse that I needed some time to think about what we were going to do today) and Julia and I laid down on the couch for awhile. The moment passed and I feel better now.

It was very odd.

2005-07-15 Snoring Confirmed

I let her go crash in our (air conditioned) room. As I was tucking her in she said,

"Can you try not to snore because that really bothers me?"

It was hard not to laugh out loud at that, but I didn't. Instead I just said "Sure."

So, after years of Ryun telling me that I do snore and me not believing him, I guess I finally have to face the facts.

If Katherine says I do then it must be true.

2005-07-15 Does anyone else feel

Oldies 103.

I just can't seem to enjoy the crap that young people today listen to.

Anyone else feel this way?

2005-07-14 Stuff

I have some things on my mind, some of which I may write about here at some point, and some of which I definitely won't write about here (sorry to be so vague but yeah for once everything is going well with me and my immediate family and it is someone else I am worried about).

I have a meeting to go to tonight and food shopping to do afterward so I don't expect to be back on track again until tomorrow.

Just so you know.

2005-07-14 Spanking

As per usual, there are opinions and studies on both sides of the fence.

My question?

Which side are you on?